| I remember when Jared died my senior year of high school and how much it changed my life. I became a different person overnight. Less outgoing, less motivated. I remember I called his phone all the time just so I could listen to his voice on the answering machine. And then eventually his phone was disconnected and there was nothing. And eventually, my life moved on. I started having happy moments again. Here I am, over 4 years later, and so much has happened, so many good and bad moments in my life, and while I don't think of his death all the time, certain moments I am reminded. Since then I have lost my grandmother, and my brother Jim. I don't have the comfort of the most amazing friend anyone could ask for. At moments the grief is completely overwhelming. All of their deaths combined can't explain how much it hurts to lose someone who is still alive. Someone who you let your guard down for the first time since Jared died. Someone who you trusted. It's not his fault though. It's just one of those things... time will go by... I'll stop calling his phone to hear his voice... and while I will still think of him, and even see him from day to day, my life will go on in another direction.
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| It's been a long, long time Xanga.
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